This year has been something else. It has had a lot of ups and a lot of downs. I don’t hold any regrets. I have grown as a person and I have learned from my mistakes.
Well, there is one thing I regret and that’s how things ended up with someone who has always been there for me. We don’t really talk anymore and in the beginning it didn’t bother me too much because I was angry. I was angry about a lot of things so I was just kind of numb. There was a lot going on around me and even though I read her posts and it just fueled my anger because I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong…at least I was doing what she was claiming I was doing…I was wrong for not talking to my best friend and letting her know what I was feeling and what was going on…but I really didn’t know what was going on and I didn’t understand my feelings. It was almost like everything was falling apart and I was hurting in so many ways that I instantly went to a place where I just didn’t care about anything or anyone because everyone kept hurting me. It wasn’t fair to her for me to act the way I was and for that, I apologize.
I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be, I will continue to make mistakes, and I will probably always shut down when it seems like everything is falling apart. But I don’t want to push people away.
I hope that with this new year I can continue to let go of the anger and hurt and keep growing as an individual. I hope that I can continue to strengthen my mind and body.
I’m going to get off this computer now because it has taken up too much of my time these last two days already and I’m going to go exercise and then relax and read my book and then bring in the new year with a bottle of Merlot. I was so excited for this bottle of wine lol. I find it quite sad that I get so excited by wine.
Happy New Year everyone. I’m looking forward to the adventures this new year will bring.